DAY FORTY SIX

Doing what you love, loving what you do, making a difference, getting by.

The dream of many people is to have all the time in the world to devote to their making, arts and craft acitivities. Such a thought may be accompanied with one or more 'If onlys...': If only I didn't have this job...; If only I'd studied harder...; If only I'd taken the risk when I was younger...; If only the kids were a little older...; If only my partner was a more supportive... . Fill in your own versions. The list is probably endless. 

I have to say I wasn't personally prone so much to 'If only', the monkey on my back was 'I should', and in its even more pernicious version, 'I should be able to...'. 

 

Regardless of reality, life and the other demands and contradictions it brought, I thought I should be able to do everything, and I felt a failure when I couldn't (i.e. nearly all the time). I cut myself no slack, at least as far as the voice in my head went. If my ambition bounced up against some limitation or constraint then it was my fault for not anticipating it, for not planning better, for not being omniscient and able to defy the laws of physics and time to boot. It's worth mentioning that I had a senior job, a long commute, and was a single parent for some of the period under discussion. Looking back it's as if I was in the grip of some sort of madness for the greater part of my adult life. 

 

But enough of all that. I intended to talk about balance and harmony in life, not it's evil twin. 

 

There are many ideas about ways to achieve balance in one's life, but generally they seem to involve the following: A sense of purpose; connection with others; having something personally worthwhile to do; paying attention to one's diet; being active or taking some regular exercise; having enough income to sustain a moderate lifestyle.

You'll notice there isn't a lot about achievement, or success, tons of money, or even necessarily living the kind of life you think you want, or think that others live. Not a great deal about expressing yourself, recognition, having power, being an influencer, or making a splash. Ideas about balance don't major on claiming your identity, or working out your needs, or finding a label to attach to yourself. 

All of these things may be important in other ways, but they are way stations on the path to somewhere else I would say, and they may provide you with a lot of baggage which as you arrive closer to your destination you find you probably need to drop if you are to continue the journey. 'If only' and 'I should be able to' are examples of that baggage, I think.

 

The concept of Ikigai shown in the diagram above is not about balance in the first instance, but more closely linked to Western philosophical notions of the good life, or how to live well. I think its worth thinking about, and worth considering where your craft, creativity and making activities fit in. The diagram suggests they can only ever be part of the story if you are aiming for balance.